Like most people who don't have any kids, I'm convinced that I could raise them better than most parents. With my intelligence, my strength and my piercing gaze, I clearly have all the nurturing attributes necessary to bend any child to my will. But because of the current legal system and, frankly, considerable cowardice on my part, I have not seized anyone's child and then reared them properly myself. Instead I've published a short guide on the subject, because that's something I could do without leaving my chair.
Full article at cracked.com.
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